Happy Mother’s Day!!  Cheers to all of you! I hope your day is filled with love, joy and lots of laughter!!

To my own mom, thanks for teaching me the value of hard work, how to persevere through trials in life, and most importantly, for teaching me how to love unconditionally and give unrestricted grace to my own children.  I respect you so much! I had no idea the sacrifices you made to raise us.  You unselfishly put your own needs, goals and dreams on pause so we could have a great childhood full of love, laughter, clean laundry, 3 squares a day, and adventure!  Thank you for teaching me how to be a mom, for teaching me to be strong, to live fearless and to never give up! You loved me unconditionally and always through the difficult times.  Your love, strength and dedication to your children has made us who we are today. Thanks, Mom, I’m forever grateful ♥♥♥

I became a mom for the first time on March 11, 2006 and then again on October 18, 2007.  Yes, my kids are very close in age, but they are polar opposites (both in physical traits…one is a boy and one is a girl, and in personalities).  I don’t think they have even one thing in common…. one loves chocolate, the other loves vanilla; one is kind-hearted, sensitive, cuddly and loving, while the other is sassy, naughty on a regular, stubborn, strong-willed and finds it super funny when her mom cries because she punched another kid in the face….again 😦

Like many things in life, nothing went as planned from day one! My motherhood journey has been marked with many complicated and heart-breaking moments, but it also tells a story of unconditional love, true grit, grace and countless joy-filled adventures.  Our daughter, Chloe Jane, has forced us to show our guts, to show what we’re made of…apparently I’m a lot stronger than I realized!  She was born with unexpected health problems (primarily lung, breathing, and immune system related).  She is delayed in many areas, rides around in a self-propelled wheelchair (meaning I am the self-propeller) and doesn’t look, for lack of a better word, “normal” by society’s definition of the word.  My heart has been repeatedly broken time and again over the past 11 years but Kevin, Jake, Chloe and I are survivors.  Chloe has taught us to love on a deeper level, to forgive each other’s shortcomings and work together to overcome the obstacles. While it wasn’t our plan to have these broken pieces in our lives they serve an important purpose in shaping who we are as a family and who we’ve become as individuals.

All children come with no instruction manual and their own set of challenges.  Some days I’m truly exhausted from the battle (either already fought or the one looming on the distant horizon!), but my children have taught me the meaning and definition of true love, grace, and perseverance.  Some days I feel absolutely broken beyond repair, my mom failures mounting in epic proportions and other days I feel like I breezed through the day with a gold medal at the finish line (okay maybe I never feel quite this great but I definitely have victories that we celebrate).

Some moments in time that have shaped the mom I am…..

To the friend who told me they don’t want to be me…I get it! Most days I don’t want to be me! My days are long and I know you see Chloe as a life sentence but if you can look beyond her broken body, she is beautiful and God trusted Kevin and I to care for her and love her and though she isn’t perfect by the world’s standards she is perfectly loved in our family.  She may never do most things other children will do but I’m thankful for the odds she’s already defied! The silver lining here is she can now tell us she loves us back complete with a sweet, slobbery kiss and it is the most beautiful gift ♥  Children are a gift regardless of who they are! Embrace them and love them right where they’re at.

To the friend who was ready to start their own family and felt guilty and worried they would end up with a Chloe so they distanced themselves right out of our life… She’s not a disease or illness that is contagious.  She is a beautiful child, a sister, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a cousin and a niece!  While at the time, I was heart-broken over this now I’m sad for you…I’m sad you are missing out on the sweetest love, I’m sad your children are missing out on a lifetime of friendship from two genuine, kind-hearted, playful, adventurous kids.

To the nurse this week who asked me if my whining, frustrated child was behaving typically for her “you know, because she is disabled and all”…No that was not typical behavior caused by her disabilities! She had not eaten for 18 hours due to the procedure she was having done, so while I’m sorry she made everyone else in the waiting room uncomfortable, any child regardless of their challenges would have been desperate with a tummy ache and begging for food at that point.  My advice to you is this:  be passionate about what you do or don’t do it! It is that simple.  The.End.

To the nurses who didn’t make me feel like the worst mom ever when my 3-year-old locked himself in the washroom at the local children’s hospital and responded to me with these calming words- “don’t worry mom, Jesus is in here with me, we’re washing our hands and I didn’t fall in the toilet” (well thank the sweet Lord for that!)… Thank you for your kindness that day and all of the days!

To the gastroenterologist that was in charge of my son’s health problems for 5 years….when my 3-year-old grabbed your chest and with a sparkle in his eye, turned to me and said, “OH mommy, BIG BUMPS! Big quishy bumps!”  Thanks for not making the situation worse and reassuring me that things like this happen all the time when you are examining children.  I wanted to crawl in a big hole that day but somehow I managed to walk out of there hand in hand with my angel-boy.

To the time when my 4-year-old ran to his daddy with tears streaming down his face proclaiming my abandonment because I shut the bathroom door to have a pee by myself for once, or when my child decided homework was only for the kids who didn’t get the lesson being taught, thus decided not to do any homework for a month…I’m thankful for these parenting moments (maybe not always right then but later in my reflections I am grateful).  My point in sharing some of my mom stories is this:  the good days and bad days, the painful, failed moments, the sweet victories all work together to teach and strengthen us.  They keep us from giving up and make us strong so that in the end we can raise strong, kind and loving kids.

Being a mom is the greatest calling!  It’s the most challenging, but also comes with the greatest rewards.  These rewards cannot be purchased nor can you barter for them… they accumulate from a lifetime of love and trust and grace and peanut butter, mud-stained, milk mustache faces.  To all the moms out there – I know you are exhausted and you feel like you’ve failed (sometimes in large ways and other times in small ways) but keep on keepin on and remember this tender nugget:  Your sweet angels are learning to love, to dig deep when times are tough, to never give up, to forgive, to encourage others, to be passionate, to be graceful, to be brave and courageous, to be kind and compassionate to others in spite of our differences.  They are learning how to rise above in life and to shine, to take the leap even if it’s scary and to be fearless overcomers! Embrace your failed moments and learn from them because your littles will learn how to navigate life’s adversity from watching you.  ♥You, my friend, have one of the most important jobs on the planet.  Don’t EVER forget that!

According to my 11-year-old, I like to run, eat and be awesome!  What’s your super power??