We could all use a little more sunshine, especially after the rain that can come hard and fast in this life, right?!

I love Christmas time and celebrating the New Year! They are two of my favorite things! Christmas has always represented magic, joy, love and peace for me.  I get excited about finding the perfect tree, decorating it, adding a new and special piece to my children’s ornament collections, Christmas Eve jammies, family traditions – both old and new, getting together with friends and family to celebrate Jesus’ birth and another year gone by. On the flip side, this time of year I’m usually quite homesick and miss my Oregon family tremendously.  I feel only half-complete – like I’m missing out and that my kids are missing out.  We miss brothers and sisters (who are aunts and uncles to my precious tiny humans) and cousins (who are my nieces and nephews) and grandmas and grandpas.  They feel so far away. It’s bitter-sweet sometimes, right?! Just like all of life can be.

I love celebrating a new year…I get excited about starting fresh and having the whole year ahead to chase dreams and accomplish goals; to become a better version of me.  I’m a soul who loves to give.  Ordinarily this season of life is magical, merry and bright, full of love, giving and sparkling lights but, if I’m being totally honest with you, this year not so much.  We found ourselves in a bit of a rainstorm, complete with thunder, lightening and probably a bit of baseball-sized hail. December was a big, crazy storm with the most difficult week including a repeat MRI to monitor a growth in one child’s spine, a nerve-racking test at Sick Kids for another child and a major surgery for me, all within days of each other.  Then I had incisions across my chest complete with stitches and a very sore chest region, Chloe was very sick, but that is nothing new as she is always sick with a lung infection this time of year, and I became sleep deprived caring for her through the nights (also not a new struggle), and to put the cherry on top, someone robbed us taking tools, money, a shovel, gloves, and a goose down coat my husband uses to shovel when it’s -40 outside…. I guess someone needed these things more than we did!

To say we were stressed is probably a slight understatement.  In my family, we all handle stress very differently.  Shocking, right?!  Just so the picture is really clear….The night before my surgery (which was #8 in 3 years), my husband decided he would set up our fake, FREE tree and listen to music loud enough to indicate we were having a block party! I had 1,001 more pressing things to complete than setting up our fake, free Christmas tree, which, by the way, comes complete with lights from 1985, before heading to the body butcher (aka surgeon) in the morning.  Our son was sick with anxiety and worry, causing him to withdraw and miss an entire week of school.  I threatened to take our ugly Christmas tree outside to the front lawn and light it on fire!  What??!! Yes, that’s right….I basically had an adult tantrum…soooo not one of my finer moments in life and definitely not proud to acknowledge this, but it’s true!  So apparently stress makes me want to become a fire starter with a strong desire to purge the ugly things in my life (like fake, plastic Christmas trees 🙂 )!

Needless to say (as I’m writing this so I think it’s pretty obvious) we all survived! Actually, we didn’t just survive we flourished in many ways.  While our holiday season seemed covered in snowflakes of adversity and strife we managed.  While situations weren’t handled perfectly, in fact, far from it, we grew stronger as individuals and as a family.  We had disappoints, hurt feelings, said mean things to each other (ok maybe only I said mean things…), cried (A LOT) of tears, threatened to burn down the Christmas tree (also, only me), felt like giving up on a few occasions, and my husband and I discovered that when it comes to “calming down” breathing techniques don’t help….not even a teensie, weensie bit (maybe we aren’t doing it right…. deeper breaths??!).

The sun did shine for us, and it wasn’t just after the rain, sometimes it was during the rain…. this is the beautiful balance that comes in all of life. Sunshine in the midst of adversity and struggle is often missed because we are focused on the problems and not the good things.  I am a gold medalist when it comes to focusing on what’s wrong vs. what’s right with my life; with our life.

The sun peeked through in tiny bright moments here and there….

I celebrated a 3-year anniversary of the end of a very harsh form of Chemotherapy on December 18th.  Jake bought me a cheeseburger to celebrate! Yes, my chemo turned my hair almost completely grey but it DID grow back…YAY!

A super awesome friend dropped by at just the right moment with groceries, free hugs, love beyond my wildest imagination and a canvas bag that she made just for me!!

We saw a big, beautiful, sparkly and magical, non-fake Christmas tree!!

We saw “Potted Potter” in the theater in Toronto!

Christmas came with blessings of love!

A new year, with a clean slate! Excited for 2017!!