Dealing with the unexpected, expecting the unexpected in life is an on-going challenge. It took me a long time to grasp this concept and be ok with my life going in a different direction than I planned.  Not just expecting the unexpected but handling the unexpected was and probably still is one of my greatest challenges.  I’m here to tell you I do not embrace change of any kind, including the smallest change, well at all.  Just to paint a mental picture for those of you who don’t know me well, my ability to handle change gracefully is like going down a dry waterslide in a swimsuit on a hot summer day or wrecking while flying down a gravel hill on your bicycle and skidding all the way to the bottom, that’s me handling change. I think it’s safe to say that adapting gracefully is not a natural gift I have in my bag of awesomeness. Some of you who know me well will be laughing as you read this and are picturing my fierce ability to resist…. resist change, resist rules, resist the voice of reason, you get the picture…I take the hard road Every.Time.  Well, at least I am consistent, right?!   I think we can all agree that consistent perseverance can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you use it.

When I was in my twenties I had my dream life all mapped out; my plan was not lacking or insufficient in any way, according to me…..dream husband – √, a clear idea and picture of my dream house – √, ideal number of kids planned (4 healthy ones) – √.  My plan was so complete it was shatter-proof and trophy-worthy for best plan EVER (also according to me)! The key words here are me, my, and I I I!  I was so sure of THE PLAN that when everything started going opposite of THE PLAN it was like getting my skin scraped off of my body one square inch at a time.  What my real life actually looks like….perfect husband – no but he is perfect for me; 4 healthy kids – not exactly…more like 2 kids (both born with multiple health issues and one is like having 12 so who needs 4 anyway 😉 ); dream house – yes, but I had to adjust my defining factors from materialistic and big to what really makes a dream home… cozy, cobweb-filled plus a layer or two of dust for protection, of course 😉 ,  warm and love-filled.

Someone asked me the other day, “How do you do it? How do you keep yourself together with so many unknowns and unexpected things with Chloe?”  My response was and is this…. Life is full of the unexpected.  Life is full of adversity and difficult, muddy, murky waters.  We don’t get to control most things.  Even if we think we are in control, we’re not!  Just like a bad choice doesn’t have to have a bad ending, life’s unexpected curve balls don’t have to feel like a skidmark resulting in roadrash for the rest of time.  There is always a lesson to be learned.  I call them teachable moments. Many trials that happen in our life are out of our control.  What we can control is how we respond and react to them.  I apply this to people as well as situations.  I try to love more than I hate every.single.day.  I strive for more love-filled moments than hate-filled moments.  I can’t control what someone says about me or how they treat me but I can control how I react to the negativity and hurt.  You have a choice to make.  You can choose to love more than you hate but, at the end of the day, it is your choice to make.  The unexpected doesn’t have to remain in the unwanted category.  Most of my greatest victories can be found in the unexpected….in the difficult moments but I am here to tell you that the more difficult the battle the sweeter the victory.  If life was super easy all the time it probably wouldn’t be a life worth living.  In my life, there have been many difficult and hard moments, unspeakable losses, character-defining hardships  and on many occasions I have wanted to quit!

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”  ~ A favorite quote in our house from the great Arnie Fortunator (Jake called him this when he was little and it stuck but his real name is Arnold Schwarzenegger).

The unexpected life moments have taught me to be more compassionate and kind than I could have ever imagined; to love more fiercely; to cherish and respect more deeply; to fight with courage and strength and press on towards the goal of always loving more and trying again.  Never give up! You’ll be glad you didn’t.  Learn from your failed moments.

Don’t let your fears and perfected ideals keep you from achieving greatness!